![]() He'd been there awhile on this night when he noticed a man watching him. ![]() It was a place that allowed magical thinking he could look at the cards in front of him, no matter how bad, and convince himself it was the start of a winning hand. It was a place he could be alone without feeling lonely. He found a poker table was a good place to be when you didn't care. He'd go to this casino outside Los Angeles often when the anxiety and the depression dug into him. Add money and reason to the list of things he no longer cared about. He stared down at another losing hand, betting on it anyway. Didn't care about much of anything as he sat hunched over a poker table in the Commerce Casino - "the most celebrated cardroom in the world," it proclaims - one night during the lowest of his many lows. ![]() Didn't care who saw him or what they thought of him. ![]()
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